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The 12 Names of Ohnut, in SONG

Here at Ohnut, we fully endorse getting a little silly. If that silliness involves the power of song and friendship—even better.

[Verse 1]

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me

And an Ohnut under the tree

[Verse 2]

On the second day of Christmas, my neighbor gave to me

Two dick donuts

And an Ohnut under the tree

[Verse 3]

On the third day of Christmas, my gyno gave to me

Three penis hugs

Two dick donuts

And an Ohnut under the tree

[Verse 4]

On the fourth day of Christmas, my Bubbie gave to me

Four cervix savers 

Three penis hugs

Two dick donuts

And an Ohnut under the tree

[Verse 5]

On the fifth day of Christmas, my partner gave to me

Sex that makes me feel good about myself

Four cervix savers 

Three penis hugs

Two dick donuts

And an Ohnut under the tree

[Verse 6]

On the sixth day of Christmas, my best friend gave to me

Six springie ringies

Sex that makes me feel good about myself

Four cervix savers 

Three penis hugs

Two dick donuts

And an Ohnut under the tree

[Verse 7]

On the seventh day of Christmas, my grandma gave to me

Seven squishy pushies

Six springie ringies

Sex that makes me feel good about myself

Four cervix savers 

Three penis hugs

Two dick donuts

And an Ohnut under the tree

[Verse 8]

On the eighth day of Christmas, Debbie gave to me

Eight humper bumpers

Seven squishy pushies

Six springie ringies

Sex that makes me feel good about myself

Four cervix savers 

Three penis hugs

Two dick donuts

And an Ohnut under the tree

[Verse 9]

On the ninth day of Christmas, my therapist gave to me

Nine thruster adjusters

Eight humper bumpers

Seven squishy pushies

Six springie ringies

Sex that makes me feel good about myself

Four cervix savers 

Three penis hugs

Two dick donuts

And an Ohnut under the tree

[Verse 10]

On the tenth day of Christmas, my cool aunt gave to me

Ten eggplant coozies

Nine thruster adjusters

Eight humper bumpers

Seven squishy pushies

Six springie ringies

Sex that makes me feel good about myself

Four cervix savers 

Three penis hugs

Two dick donuts

And an Ohnut under the tree

[Verse 11]

On the eleventh day of Christmas, Oprah gave to me

Eleven boning buffers

Ten eggplant coozies

Nine thruster adjusters

Eight humper bumpers

Seven squishy pushies

Six springie ringies

Sex that makes me feel good about myself

Four cervix savers 

Three penis hugs

Two dick donuts

And an Ohnut under the tree

[Verse 12]

On the twelfth day of Christmas, I gave to myself

Twelve cushions for the pushin'

Eleven boning buffers

Ten eggplant coozies

Nine thruster adjusters

Eight humper bumpers

Seven squishy pushies

Six springie ringies

Sex that makes me feel good about myself

Four cervix savers 

Three penis hugs

Two dick donuts

And an Ohnut under the tree

 


  

Want to know where it all started? Check out stories of holidays past below!

12 Names of Ohnut, Part I

12 Names of Ohnut Part II

"There's no better way to spread Christmas cheer than singing loud for all to hear."

-Buddy, Elf

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