The 12 Names of Ohnut Pt. II

The 12 Names of Ohnut Pt. II

The 12 Names of Ohnut Pt. II

by Allison Danish, MPH

Back by popular demand! The remix. 

On the first day of Ohnut, my true love gave to me...

1. Penis Ring

Is it me you're looking for? 

Lionel Richie singing "Hello"

 

2. Springie Ringies

The spring to your pogo stick ;)

Baby goats jumping over bales of hay

3. Humper Bumper

Enjoy the game! Bumpers for all!
Uncle Rico from Napolean Dynamite bowling.


4. Thruster Adjuster

Adjust that thrust! (Get it, Jamie Lee!!)
Jamie Lee Curtis thrusting from the movie Perfect


5. O-Ring

Oh, oh, oh—it’s magic!

Shia LaBeouf doing spirit fingers in a unicorn shirt. Magic.



6. Cushion for the Pushin'

It makes for the perfect mana-team.

Manatee bumping into glass.

 


7. Cervix Saver

It's either hit or miss. Up to you!

Leslie Knope from Parks and Recreation. "Great news. I just saved your bacon."



8. Penis Donut

Us too, Mindy.

Mindy Kaling in the Office. "God, I want a donut."

 


9. Sex Lego

Stack em up, stack em down. Build the Millennium Falcon! The world is your oyster.

Lego from The Lego Movie floating away.



10. G-Spot Positioning System (GPS)

Enter Travel Destination: G-spot. 

Slot machine with eggplants, vulvas, and the g-spot.



11. Penis Hug

Who doesn’t love a warm hug?

Olaf from Frozen. "And I like warm hugs."



12. Connection Coozie

Keeps drinks cold* and bedrooms toasty
A bear in a cozy blanket with a warm cup.
*Not a recommended use for Ohnut

 

 

For those who don't like Christmas tunes (but do like show tunes):

Donuts on penises and cushioned connection,

Thruster adjusters and feel-good affection,

G-Spot Positioning System of Rings!

These are a few of my favorite things.

-My Favorite Things, The Sound of Ohnut

  

Painful sex can be a real... well, pain! But at Ohnut, sometimes we have to take a break from the serious side, the research side, the tough stories... and lean into the silly. Happy holidays :)

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